A God-Awful Small Affair

We're coming up on the eight year anniversary of thee mighty LJ, and I am celebrating it by mass-protecting the vast majority of the entries on here. Why? Because that was then, and this is now. Oh, and neither you nor I need to hear about what my day was like on, say, September 2, 2002. I'll give you a hint, though: I was 20 years old, and I am pretty sure I was having my usual daily panic attack about boys or how my life sucks or something combining the two. Like I said, you don't want to know.

Then, we used things like "AOL Instant Messenger" and "dialup" and "animated GIFs" to illustrate our journal entries. We had "Geocities" pages and painstakingly typed out the artist and title of every single CD we owned, formatted it in HTML and gave it a fetching neon green on black layout, a la "The Matrix." Or perhaps that was just me. But I digress.

Now we Twitter and Facebook and Last.fm and we text message constantly, and we use blogspot instead of, for example, the increasingly obsolete site you're currently looking at. And we certainly don't have daily panic attacks, especially since we're with the Best Boyfriend Ever (TM). Now, we just get pissed off if we have to wait for our espresso, or if all the stair steppers are full at the gym. Being a grownup is pretty awesome.

Don't worry, though. I'm still a fiend for rock n' roll, I still write like it's my job (because it is), I'm still a raging leftist feminist, and I still muse insignificant for your momentary pleasure. Some things will never change. I promise.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Ran three miles without stopping. Got my own health insurance. Wore a cute bathing suit without too much self-consciousness.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did! And I'll always make more.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No one close, but several friends did.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No one close.

5. What countries did you visit?
Canada.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Money.

7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
So many.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting a full time career important big girl job. Learning how to be active and losing a shit ton of weight. Falling in love/meeting my best friend.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Spending money poorly. Messing around with dudes that weren't worth my time.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Strep throat and a concussion.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Plane tickets, sexy dresses and a shit ton of records.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent, bills, coffee, booze, clothes.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Work, traveling, friends, Zach.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
New albums from NIN, Nick Cave and Amanda Palmer; the Zombies, Tom Waits, Jarvis Cocker.

Compared to this time last year, are you:

17. Thinner or fatter?
Much thinner.

18. Richer or poorer?
Slightly richer.

19. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Traveling.

20. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Spending money in a dumb way.

21. How did you spend Christmas?
With Zach and his family, friends, and my own family. Best Christmas as an adult.

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yes, yes, oh yes.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Adult Swim, Daily Show, Colbert, Cash Cab!

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I strongly dislike a few.

26. What was the best book you read?
I read so many good books! I don't know!

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
More metal. 16 Horsepower. Gillian Welch.

28. What did you want and get?
Love. Reasonably sexy body. Job. All kinds of wonderful things.

29. What did you want and not get?
Nothing I can think of. I just have to perfect the things that I did get.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Either "I'm Not There" or "The Dark Knight."

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 26, and I slept late, had lunch with Summer and Andy, cleaned the apartment, went running, bought a pretty dress, went to bars with my wonderful friends, went to a party with a bunch of random people and hooked up with an oddly intriguing army guy. I win.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More money to go on more cool trips. More good writing.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
I'M A SIZE 8 WHAT DO I DO I KNOW I'M GOING TO BUY SO MANY CLOTHES I HAVE TO THROW SOME OF THEM OUT BECAUSE I HAVE TOO MANY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

34. What kept you sane?
Music.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Barack Obama.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Barack Obama; gay rights.

37. Who did you miss?
Bernie, Mary, Anna, Bonzey, Bridget, all my dead homies.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I met him before, but I think I met him officially this year: Zach. Duh.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
If you want something bad enough, you better go out and get it. Beauty truly is only skin deep. Patience is a virtue; so is hard work.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
This will be our year / took a long time to come.

I am not even going to attempt to catch up on two months worth of posts from you guys.

I work about 80%of the time. The rest of my time is spent running, being rock n' roll and hanging out with my awesome boyfriend. My new apartment is totally baller, and I got a raise two weeks ago. Last week, I took a ferry ride to an island, met Malcolm Gladwell, and bought a hot red strapless dress at Goodwill for seven bucks. Tomorrow is Halloween!

Hey! A black democrat is going to be President! Holy fucking shit!

How are you?

I was accepted into this

I'm going to have to buy an evening gown. Better make a trip to Mardens!

Did you know
that it becomes much harder to type,
play guitar,
text message,
turn pages in a book
and take your contacts out
when, at 1 a.m.,
after a couple of whiskeys,
you've burned the fucking shit out of your fingers
on the white-hot filling of a s'mores flavored pop tart
that's spent a minute too long in the toaster?

You do now.

Just so you know, I still read my friends list almost every day. I just seem to not care about posting much anymore. When the spirit hits me I'll write a poem type thing or post some music or a recipe or whatever. But I pretty much use Facebook exclusively nowadays. Or MySpace, if I'm feeling trashy.

That said: in order to keep my longtime LJ friends abreast of my well being, I'll say that I'm still living in Bangor (obviously), I'm still making a living as a writer (how the hell did I work that one out?), and I still go running almost every day. And I still totally heart David Bowie (#db 4evor). I am currently reading "The Omnivore's Dilemma" by Michael Pollan and "White Noise" by Don DeLillo. I am currently listening to Boris' "Pink" on repeat until my ears bleed, followed by Nina Nastasia, Portishead, Led Zeppelin and Jay Reatard. I kind of still love Barack Obama. I'm basically crazy busy every day, and when I can take a day off to do nothing but lay around and fuck off, I'm totally doing it. I'm breakin' hearts, I'm breakin' glasses, and I turned 26 last Saturday. On a scale of one to ten, I'm gonna go with a 7 or an 8. I think a 10 would involve all the aforementioned things, plus, like, an unlimited credit card that I don't actually have to pay for, a Sephora and a Nordstrom and a Garment District next door to my house, and a hot dude picking me up after work on his motorcycle and cooking me some amazing dinner and then, uh, y'know. World peace or whatever.

In three hours I'll have been awake for 24 straight hours. Awesome. Time for Emily to sleep. Add me on Facebook, why don't you? I will share lots of retarded YouTube videos with you, and entertain you with witty status updates. LJ is so 2002.

This may seem rather shallow and insufferably indie rock of me, but the fact that I saw a guy wearing a Replacements "Sorry Ma Forgot To Take Out the Trash" t-shirt, and then had a long, delightful chat with a guy wearing an Electrelane t-shirt, all while drinking whiskey at open mic night at Paddy Murphy's in Bangor, Maine, makes me very, very happy. Now, to be fair, there were some dudes covering Dave Matthews Band on stage at the time, but nevertheless! Progress!

The woman at the bar wore a big silver necklace,
rings on eight out of ten fingers,
and smoked her cigarettes from a holder called a Medico.
She told me that water seeks its own level.
I told her I found that to be very true.
The universe is a game of billiards.
That's not the first time I've been told that I have an old soul.
Turquoise is soft,
and amber can be green,
and gold is too showy, but we like it anyway.
She sang along to Ziggy Stardust,
and then she told me exactly what I needed to hear.
She gave me her cigarette holder,
because I used a fake one in a play in tenth grade,
and because I should have it.
Liz, I hope I see you again.
Have a safe drive back to Millinocket.
Beware of Greek sailors.
I am happy to have met you.

My knees are dry, cold, cracked,
in my black and white polka dot dress,
red stockings in my purse,
walking down Mass Ave arm-in-arm.
Your room had a bed, one of those fancy Tempurpedic deals,
and a pair of socks, some lotion, toilet paper,
a trash can, and that's it.
I drank two glasses of water and set off for Davis Square,
and you came with me,
saying, "For this walk, let's pretend we're in love,"
and I said "OK," because why not?
I can suspend disbelief for 15 minutes,
just like I can go home with a complete stranger,
and not have it be weird or anything, no.
You could get me in to see a movie, any movie, for free, we'll go at 3 p.m.,
let's see the animated one about Iran during the Revolution, yes,
or we could get dinner, ever had Ethiopian, yes,
you have a nice soul, I can see it, it's in your eyes, your face,
your awkwardness and honesty,
isn't this strange?
You held my hand.
I said, that statue with the flowers,
a year ago I took a picture there, in my ketchup and mustard striped shirt,
before I saw the dinosaurs,
Have you seen the dinosaurs?
Yes, yes I have. I have to go home to my parents,
I don't like to stay at my apartment, it's lonely and I think I'm afraid of leaving,
this is the fourth night in a row I've spent there, which is the longest so far,
and thank you for helping me, I wasn't going to go out,
but they said her friend was coming, and maybe she'd be cool?
And she was, yeah, I'm cool, way cool,
so cool I don't even know how cool I am, whatever.
Don't use your fare, let me get it,
here is the saw-player, and the shopping bags,
the bagels and bananas, moss-green t-shirt on a tiny Asian girl,
man nodding his head to a hidden soundtrack,
don't be cold, don't be cold, you didn't have to come with me,
I hope you're not offended.
I am not, remember? It's the moment,
and we're in love at 11 a.m., and will be for at least another ten minutes,
or until we get to Porter Square.
But you keep it going, we go up the enormous escalator,
the one that gives you vertigo.
I said, I will race you up those stairs and the first one to pass out wins.
Your name is Portuguese, I thought you weren't from here,
that you were actually Portuguese, but your parents are, you're from Framingham or Lawrence or something,
your parents who are Catholic and make you feel guilty about sleeping with nice girls.
You have that steadfast shame that turns you on,
makes you crazy all the time about everything,
and I guess I bring that out in people? That's a compliment, sure,
yes, well, goodbye then, here is my number, yes,
movie, dinner, have fun buying clothes, let's stand under the heater for a minute,
before I go. Here is the prayer group, the homeless man,
the Linens n' Things and Kinkos, the orange hand and the blinking white man,
and the crisp blue sky,
the pigeons that I run into as I cross the street, waving,
ruffled pigeons that take flight,
shiny purple and green and gray pigeons, that today get to pretend to be doves.

Chaplin Park.
Grass is greener at 5 p.m. than it was at 10 a.m.
60 degrees, breezy.
There are petroglyphs on the sidewalk:
Cam, Tate, David and Claire were here,
followed by strange symbols;
a half moon and a circle, a smiling face,
a double cross and a cube.
A pack of boys, bicycled,
patrol past me, silent,
jeans and sweatshirts,
messy hair, no homework.
I am part of a long chain of events,
from mammoths to Monday afternoons,
crocuses struggling up from the cold soil, again,
shaking the dust from the long blanket of winter.
Walk the dog, plant the corn, procreate,
put a flag on your front porch to signify the season change.
I don't want to think about the future,
just the past, and how it clings to the present,
tugging on its shirt tails,
heavy and insurmountable.

"Some people never have anything except ideas. Go do it." - The fortune cookie I opened on Easter Sunday at my Grandparents' house.

Lucky numbers: 3, 11, 21, 31, 41, 43

George Carlin - Angels
The Gun Club - Brother and Sister
The Rolling Stones - Play With Fire
The Raveonettes - Aly, Walk With Me
The Shirelles - Will You Love Me Tomorrow?
Cat Power - Metal Heart (2008)
Nine Inch Nails - 9 Ghosts
Boredoms - Super Are You
Yeasayer - Wait For the Summer
Venetian Snares - Hajnal
Sir Edward Elgar - Introduction and Allegro, Op. 47
Arthur Russell - Our Last Night Together

Spicy Avocado Salad

3-4 cups baby spinach
1/2 of a medium avocado, sliced
1 medium tomato
3/4 cup chopped red or yellow or green pepper
1/4 cup chopped onion
1/4 cup corn niblets (niblets!)
2 tablespoons salsa
1 tablespoon grated romano or parmesan cheese
Juice of half a lime

Mix up the salsa, cheese, corn and lime. Arrange your spinach and tomato artfully on the plate. Do the same with the peppers, onions and sliced avocado. Dump the salsa mixture on top. You're looking at 230 calories of tastiness, with 35 carbs, 9 grams of protein, and 11 grams of fat - but no worries, it's good fat! Monounsaturated, baby. Yum. A buttload of vitamin c, vitamin a and iron. The perfect ratio of nutrients. Holla to my eatin' healthy, gettin' in shape, kickin' ass and takin' names sisters.

Spicy Cilantro Tofu with Squash, Onions, Peppers and Mushrooms

Half a block of firm tofu, cut into cubes
1 cup cubed winter squash (acorn, butternut, whatever)
3/4 cup chopped bell pepper
1/4 cup chopped onion
1 cup chopped mushroom

For the sauce:
1/4 cup Essensia brand adobo chili cilantro sauce
OR
1 tablespoon tomato paste
1 teaspoon extra virgin olive oil
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
2 tablespoons chopped cilantro
Two cloves garlic, minced
Maybe you want to add basil? It's up to you, but I like it
Water

Cut a block of tofu in half, drain and rinse, and cut into small cubes. Either take the store-bought marinade and mix it up with the tofu, or combine all the sauce ingredients into a small bowl, mix well, adding water to desired consistency, and mix it up with the tofu. Let it set for at least two hours. The longer the better. When your tofu is good n' marinated n' spicy, get ready to chop some veggies. I buy a bag of frozen cubed winter squash because it is a fuck of a lot easier to defrost that shit than it is to cook up a whole squash and deal with it. But I use fresh for the rest of it. Anyway, get all your veggies in order. Heat a skillet to REALLY HOT, and then throw your tofu and sauce in and let it sizzzzzzzzzle for like three minutes. Then throw your veggies in, and cook until you feel like they are done. I recommend serving this with sour cream, but if you wanted it to be vegan, then I would not do that obviously, or I would get yourself a soy substitute. If you use the Nasoya light firm tofu, then the whole deal ends up being 250 calories. Use the regular, and it's somewheres around 350. Whatevs, though. Very little fat and a good amount of protein and vitamin A and C and iron. Serves one, but it's very easily doubled. Hooray!

On that note: this week I have given up eating mammals. If this all goes well, then I will give up eating birds. I am not sure I will be able to give up eating fish, or crustaceans or other marine invertebrates. I don't really want to either, because I have personally caught, killed and eaten both a fish and a lobster before, and I could do it again. Sushi. Shrimp. The grilled swordfish my parents and I had the other night. The sardines I had for lunch yesterday. That's my jam, yo. I could eat about a pound of raw, sashimi grade salmon all by myself, easily. I don't eat much red meat to begin with, and I don't think I could kill a cow or a pig. I don't know if I could kill a chicken or a turkey. And I do not want to be a part of the economic system that supports cruel, environment-destroying factory farming and hormone-laced, preservative-injected meat. And, when I eat a big veggie and bean and tofu and spice stir fry, I feel full and satisfied and healthy afterwards. When I a big plateful of steak or I eat pork chops or whatever, I feel full and greasy and unhealthy. And when I look at packages of meat at the grocery store, I think: that is a hunk of dead muscle tissue, sitting on a styrofoam tray, covered in plastic wrap. What the fuck? So that shit has gotta go, for multiple reasons. I was vegetarian for three years in high school. Let's give it a shot again!

Walking down Columbia Street,
you stopped me and said "Look!"
and pointed out a golden retriever,
laying on his back in a store front window,
tail wagging, paws up.
I grabbed my camera and took a picture.
You told me I should start a blog called "Cute Shit in Bangor,"
and that that would be the first entry.
And then, because you're a skinhead,
and a punk,
and a social work major,
and a community organizer,
you said I could write about class warfare
and getting the people to rise up.
I said something about Barack Obama.
You said why should we settle for the lesser of two evils?
I thought it was October of 2000,
and I shouted "End the two party hegemony!"
You, who I have known since I was an overweight 16 year old nerd,
and you were an overweight 13 year old nerd,
and we both played Vampire: The Gathering,
you told me I was beautiful,
and grabbed me and kissed me
halfway up the hill to my apartment.

Sitting in the Main Street McDonalds in Bangor at 12:13 a.m.
Do you know how hard it is to find wireless in this town?
My internet is broken at home.
The scent of Chicken McNuggets is intoxicating,
but I will resist, because that shit is not worth it.
I have hot tea,
and "Train Kept a Rollin'" plays on the loudspeakers.
The Johnny Burnette version,
not the Aerosmith one.
Jen's boyfriend tagged three photos of me on Facebook.
The Southwest Salad (grilled or crispy) is making a bold comeback.
Two apple pies for a dollar.
The teenage burger slinger shouts "Woo!"
They're kicking me out.
"Magic Carpet Ride" is on now.
You don't have to go home,
but you can't stay here.

I got that raise and promotion. Commencing baller journalist career. Yes.

Yes, he's still a politician. No, he's not perfect. No, I'm still not a huge fan of the Democratic party. Yes, I still want to see a viable third party option someday. But I believe that as far as making positive, progressive change in this country, he's our best chance. And aside from that, I just like the guy. He came to Bangor. Apart from the Folk Festival, I've never seen so many people in one place in this town, ever. It gave me that elusive sense of hope - that maybe we could actually begin to stop this slow, painful train wreck of insane foreign policy, economic oppression, human rights abuses and environmental disregard - for the first time in a long time. And it could actually happen. Who knows? I am prepared to be disappointed, but I'm also prepared to witness the beginning of a new era. I'm behind you, Barack Obama.

More pictures here.

My favorite Alien Journalist sent me this fantastic mashup by some dude/dudes called the Illumnoids. It makes the second-least awesome song on "Ziggy Stardust" (behind "Star") about 500% better.

The Illuminoids - Phantom Ain't Easy

In other news: the Bush Tetras fucking rule. Wait, that's not news. I just hadn't realized it yet. Talk about ahead of their time, I'll tell you what. Every funk-punk type band kicking around today should pay them royalties.

I also have discovered a new band called O'Death, and they also rule. Dark bluegrass punk. Yes.

So, naturally:
Bush Tetras - Cowboys in Africa
O'Death - O Lee O

This schizophrenic music update has been brought to you by BurnhamCorp. BurnhamCorp: Yesterday's Bullshit Tomorrow.

HEY MAN, I GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO AT 3 AM THAN DOWNLOAD SHIT FROM EMUSIC AND PERUSE MP3 BLOGS: EMILY BURNHAM’S BEST OF 2007 LIST (EXTENDED EDITION)
There are a few things I’d like to mention here, before we get going with this beast. For starters, where’s all the hip hop? Well, I’ll be honest: I didn’t really hear much new hip hop this year, outside of the new Kanye, Jay-Z and Common, and singles like “Soulja Boy,” which is both disturbing and awesome, and “Party Like a Rock Star,” which is so moronic it is brilliant. No, most of the hip hop I listened to this year was back catalog, i.e. Wu Tang solo albums, De La Soul, all the old Doom albums, etc. So don’t you go calling me a rockist or an indie snob or nothing, ya hear?

In fact, the majority of the music I’ve gotten this year has been back catalog, like my acute and ongoing and somewhat painful infatuation with the Gun Club, and my own personal surf rock revival, and my slow accumulation of the Nuggets tracks, and the huge Prince obsession of the month of October, and the week of Phil Spector and girl group worship, and all the classical music I’ve heard too, and on and on. So the fact that I still managed to listen to more than 60 albums that were released in 2007 is, well, impressive, and also the mark of someone with a little bit of a problem. Or too much time on her hands. Or all three.

Anyway, here’s what made the cut. This was a totally awesome year for music – but then again, I say that every year. I hope that you listen to at least one of these albums that you haven’t heard yet, and that you appreciate it as much as I do. Happy Holidays, my lovelies, and Happy New Year too.

( CLICK HERE TO LOSE TEN MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE! )

Series of animations Phillip Glass did for Sesame Street. I remember these, and of course now that I know that it was Glass who did it, it all makes perfect sense. I recall it being absolutely mesmerizing, when I was a wee babe. Still is.